Day 3

I'm trusting the process.

I have to - my show is no further advanced than it was yesterday.

Today I took up all the opportunities that were offered - to participate in three masterclasses, and none of the songs I sang today will feature in my show on Saturday. The three workshops were - European songs, Sondheim songs and Ballads.

A lot of us challenged our self-concept today. I heard comments like "I'm not a jazz singer"; "Should I even dare to sing this?" I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one to have the occasional self-doubt. I've never thought of myself as a "musical theatre person". I only know one Sondheim song - "Send in the Clowns", so that's the one I sang.

I'm loving the culture of achievement and daring. People took risks. No one was told that the song they had chosen was too ambitious. And you start to realize that no one performed a song perfectly the first time they sang it. And what is perfect, anyway? You are meant to perform your own version of the song - there's no point in trying to re-create something that already exists. It's not about meeting a standard, but but utilizing your unique qualities to the full.

Although these workshops took me away from the path of preparing for my show, they enabled me to spend more time singing. As a professional speaker, I know that getting plenty of stage time is crucial. It's just not the same to practice in your bedroom or with a teacher, as it is to get in front of a real audience. During the past two years, I've sung at open mic nights, and I generally get three minutes of stage time per month - maybe six, if I get to sing two songs. Even that small amount of performance time has helped enormously. You have to get used to being on your own in the spotlight and engaging the audience. The feeling is completely different from singing with a band, where there is a whole line-up of musicians and instruments - plenty going on and plenty for the audience to look at. You're really just one of several instruments in the group, and you can all draw energy from each other. In cabaret it's just you. Last year I performed more often -in extra shows during the Festival Fringe, and with my own twenty-minute show as part of a Kabarett event in the Cabaret Fringe. The extra stage time made me feel more comfortable on stage, and I started to feel I could do more - I could even have my own full-length show. I would not have believed this a year ago.

It's like anything - the more you do it, the easier it gets, and the better you get at it.

I heard so many songs yesterday, and a lot of creative ideas for how to perform them. I'm glad I took part in these workshops instead of holding back because I didn't know the songs well enough. It occurred to me what a privilege it is to be asked "What would you like to sing?" Whatever music you produce, the pianist can play it.

Cabaret Summer School is a hot-bed of talent.

Now, about the show for Saturday.....